I miss you... so god damn much.

i just... miss you. so god damn much.

it's not when you randomly pop into my mind or when i see your instagram posts. 

it's when i see couples holding hands, hugging, kissing, i then realised that. 

that could be us. 

when i can't get you out of my head and think about you 24/7.

i know that you still care, and i do too.

i know that you still havn't moved on, and same here.

and i'm sorry that i can't spare time to meet you, because life has been overwhelming unfair to me these few days. 

i can't bring myself to text you or meet you because your words would run through my mind, "is this even right?".

i would imagine you, seeing my name pop up on your screen and you ignoring it. or i would imagine you rolling your eyes at the sight of my name. 

i can't meet you because i want you to hold my hand, and guide me through crowded areas. i want you to hug me out of nowhere and whisper "i love you" to me. i want you to kiss me when we're going up escalators. i want you to kiss my forehead and say "text me when you're home" when you send me off. 

i could imagine myself feeling disappointed because i've raised my hopes too high. 

i don't want you to think that i don't make time for you or that i don't want to text you. 

i'm just an insecure, hopeless girl with too big of an imagination.