Sometimes

Sometimes, I still think about you.
It's when I read depressing notes on the internet, I think of you.
It's when I walk home alone, I think of you.
And when I look out my window at 3am, I think of you.
Don't get me wrong, I don't miss you, I don't still love you.
But what can I do when you're my first real heartbreak.
It's the way your smile, your laugh, your actions that'll just out of the blue, resurface into my mind.
You said that you weren't capable of finding someone new to love again, you said you didn't want to. You still did.
You're a liar.
You said that you'll still love me after everything ends, you said that you'll still protect me.
You're a liar.
Now I spend nights looking at how in love you are with your new person, telling the world how shes's the one and how happy she makes you.
If only, I could go back in time, I would have stopped myself from saying, "Yes, I'll be your girlfriend."
When all my friends said, "Go for it, what could go wrong."
Fast forwarded a year, it's "I'm sorry" that they say now.
Is it weird that i remember more bad memories than the good?
I can still clearly remember all your toxic words.

However, there was still one sentence that never failed to calm me down, to make me smile. And how I wish I could hear you say it to me one last time, before everything went away.
"It's okay, you're okay, everything's going to be alright."